A conversation with my beloved friend Johanne Webb, and my uni work, inspired these thoughts today....
Why do soul work?
Why do therapy?
Why put yourself through all the pain, where you will meet what you have done your best to avoid- your worst fears, and darkest demons?
When every part of you might scream, go back!
Go back to what's safe, and known, even though time and again, in NOT facing them, you meet the same heartache, the same loss, the same feeling of being half alive, only a shadow of who know know you could be?
Then, maybe, after too much hurt, too much destruction, the commitment comes to find a new and wiser way.
Because you have to. Because its unbearable to stay the same. Because you know that this is what causes wars.
You take the steps. You brave the unknown. You begin to open, to slowly trust.
First you meet the wounded self, the part that feels a deep hurt that shakes you to the core. You meet this part of you, you learn to befriend it, and a deep compassion grows, for this wounded, vulnerable, and very young you.
Next, the defences- blame or shame," they did this to me", you say, and in comes rage, or fear, or the need to run away.
But in witnessing and welcoming these places, the old way is gradually seen to block the love and intimacy that deep down you crave. In meeting the wound, in honouring the defences, deep healing and self-love begin to emerge. And, a wonder at the workings of the psych, and a sense of your amazing soul.
Beneath the layers of hurt history, shines a pure pearl, and through its shining light, your relationship with yourself, with others, and with life, begins to transform. You move from reaction, to creation- towards deep, authentic, lasting, loving relationship. Conflict is no longer to be feared or avoided, but held in sacred, trusting curiosity, as it becomes an opportunity to reveal and heal the wounds.
The wheel of evolution takes a turn, and you play your part in furthering humanity's consciousness.
You make the journey from painful reaction ( grain of sand), to shielding ( layers of hardness surrounding the pearl) to becoming the pearl ( wisdom, radical intimacy, deep love and soul growth).
And as you feel that you have mastered it all, life will humble you, as another grain of sand enters, and the growth process, from sand to pearl, begins all over again.
But now, you know its growth cycles, and why you dive